you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
