I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
