tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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