Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
