i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
