so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
