I cannot find my penis.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
