I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
