from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
