I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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