I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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