remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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