Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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