How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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