Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
