Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just high enough for therapy.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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