her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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