I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
