we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize