I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
