Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is my gift to your gina
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
