He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Randomize
