I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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