I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
