After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
