Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
