Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
