Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
