oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
