he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
