I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
only if we run a train.
done.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
