But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
