just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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