We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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