i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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