wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
