What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
