I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In America we eat man semen.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
