Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
