Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
