god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
