we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
