how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
