Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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