wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
