My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
