Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
