Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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