The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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