OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
