Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
