I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
