Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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