In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
