Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
