You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
