Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
