Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
