I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
