Church boner. Awkwardddd
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
