My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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