whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
