You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
