I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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