so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize