So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
