And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
