But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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