Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
