well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
