So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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