just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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