Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
