I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
