exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
