hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
