Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
