Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
