do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
