well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
