I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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