hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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