He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
